Dave Barry Quotes

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
~Dave Barry Quotes


Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
~Dave Barry Quotes

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings”.
~Dave Barry Quotes

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
~Dave Barry Quotes


It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.
~Dave Barry Quotes

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
~Dave Barry Quotes

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.
~Dave Barry Quotes

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
~Dave Barry Quotes

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
~Dave Barry Quotes


Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
~Dave Barry Quotes